The Escape Diaries by Juliet Rosetti Review + Giveaway

Synopsis:

Introducing the hilarious new heroine, Mazie Maguire, in Juliet Rosetti’s irresistible debut novel that follows the outrageous adventure of a woman on the run.

Wrongly convicted of killing her philandering husband, Mazie Maguire is three years into her life sentence when fate intervenes—in the form of a tornado. Just like that, she’s on the other side of the fence, running through swamps and cornfields, big box stores and suburban subdivisions. Hoping to find out who really murdered her husband, Mazie must stay a few steps ahead of both the law and her mother-in-law, who would like nothing better than to personally administer Mazie the death penalty via lethal snickerdoodle. With the Feds in hot pursuit and the national media hyping her story, Mazie stumbles upon a vast political conspiracy and a man who might just be worth a conjugal visit—if she survives.

My thoughts:

If somehow I ended up on a deserted island (which won't happen because I'm either too broke or too lazy to venture out)  and could only bring 3 things, this book would be one of them, along with deodorant and butt wipes. That is how much I enjoyed it! It had everything I love in a good story. Drama, Suspense, Romance, Action OH MY! The story centers on Mazie Maguire escaping prison after a tornado blows through town. She then goes on the run to try to prove her innocence a la "The Fugitive" which is referenced in the book too! Mazie quickly became my favorite heroine simply because she was determined to prove her innocence no matter what happened to her. We (the readers) are taken on a wild hilarious ride with Mazie as she bullshits her way around starting with faking being attacked when  she ends up nearly naked and busted up on the side of the road. She runs through fields, and Forrest's trying to stay hidden from the manhunt now looking for her. When she ends up finally falling asleep in what she thinks is an empty barn but wakes up to find herself being held captive by a fat ugly farmer all hell breaks loose. He gets the cops involved and decides while waiting on them he will use Mazie for a little fun. She plays it up but soon gets the best of him using a condom and cunning. 

She breaks free with that distraction and takes the cops on a wild goose chase through a cow field. She plays hide and seek behind the cows and ends up sneaking into a news van which introduces my favorite character Bonaparte "Ben" Labeck! *shivers* Omg mama like me some Labeck. French Canadian, Ben ends up helping Mazie figure out what happened to put her in prison. I just have to show my extreme love for Ben. When he comes into the story he's mysterious and aloof but as the story progresses he opens up and you find out his motivation for helping Mazie WHICH by the way made my heart go pitter pat!

Mazie and Labeck end up at her mother-in-law's house searching for clues only to to find out her MIL had been expecting Mazie. Now at this part in the story I was amped up on adrenaline because Mazie seems to have found herself in a jam with this loony bitch! trapped with nowhere to go her salvation comes in the form of a feisty little dog she can't get rid of! The humor in this book was unexpected but a wonderful addition to the overall plot that kept me hooked to the last sentence. Not only does Mazie manage to elude the authorities but she develops a public following that seems to be rooting for her. Every step of her journey she gets small breaks from the public that fuels her to keep going with her quest for freedom. When she turns up on the doorstep of an old friend she soon finds out he might not be the friend she always believed him to be. My heart broke for Mazie several times but her strength healed me at the same time. The things that she goes through to find the truth will have you sitting on the edge of your seat anticipating her next move and with every close call I think I blew out an artery in my poor fat clogged heart!

Every chapter brings a new adventure and hilarious mishaps Mazie has to overcome. Besides the fantastic humor of this book the main thing I loved was watching Mazie go from a naive, shy and quiet woman to a fierce, kick ass take no prisoners warrior! Mazie is my ultimate female hero and I am excited for you to read this story! This was Juliet Rosetti's debut as a new author and I can't wait to see more from her!! There wasn't a single thing I disliked about this book. Everything was entertaining and fun, from the chase, to the romance between Labeck and Mazie to the conclusion of the story that leaves you wondering where things stand between these two. Thankfully from what I gather we haven't heard the last from Mazie Maguire! This book is on my tippy top picks for 2012 and I am so in love with this story that I will Gift an Ebook copy  from either Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Kobo to one lucky winner!!! 

Favorite Quotes:

"My stomach was doing a pole dance against my backbone"

"His Tower Of Eros seemed to be undergoing some seismic activity"

"Listen, you insane hag! I didn't kill your idiot son but guess what? I'm keeping your dog!"

About the Author:

I'm thrilled that my first book, The Escape Diaries, is coming out in December. It's sort of a hybrid of mystery and chick lit, a popcorn book--light, fun, and with a happy ending. Despite the Italian name, I'm from a large Irish family, raised on a dairy farm with cats, dogs, chickens,pigs and 4 brothers. I wanted to be a cowboy when I grew up, but somehow wound up as a teacher instead. My first job was in Milwaukee, which provides much of the colorful background for my book. I spent a year teaching in Sydney, Australia, where I taught ESL and--completely unqualified--talked myself into a job coaching cricket.Nowadays I live in Oshkosh with my husband and son and squeeze in writing time between sub teaching jobs. Survival stories have always fascinated me--from Robinson Crusoe to Hatchet. It amazes me how brave and resourceful people can be as they struggle to survive under horrendous conditions. When I wrote my book my heroine possessed no food, money, or clothes and was being hunted by every lawman and gun-toting lunatic in the state, Sort of like the Hunger Games, only with Cheeseheads instead of tributes. Let me know if you read it and like it.

                                                             

  You can get The Escape Diaries for only $2.99 on Amazon!

Like Juliet Rosetti on: FACEBOOK

Follow Juliet on Twitter: @JulietRosetti

Find out more about Juliet and follow her blog: HERE


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Blog Tour: Troubles and Treats by Tara Sivec Review + Interview

Synopsis:

Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives - well, not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little.

With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time, Drew and Jenny aren't on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack, and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep.

Carter and Claire, and Jim and Liz are their usual (un)helpful selves and are full of advice for the discontented duo, wanting nothing more than to help restore order to the usually happy couple's lives.

In the third and final installment of the Chocolate Lovers Series, will Drew and Jenny find the spark that's been missing in their marriage, or will the trouble they're having cause a stickier situation than the time Jenny poured honey all over Drew and he fused himself to a tree?

Globug's take:

So the  story begins three months after Jenny and Drew have their second child. You would never guess these two would have trouble in the bed room but you would be guessing wrong. I imagine they sent a picture like this from their honeymoon or as their first christmas card.

Now poor Drew spends his nights working out.

Ok, that's not what he's really tuggin, poor guy. He has plans to help Jenny get her libido back. Of course all of their friends are aware of the situation and have input as to how to fix the problem. All Jenny really needs is sleep. Typical guys are way over thinking the problem.

Jenny continues to bring her unintentional comic genius to the story with such things as....

"we are all very family-oriental"

"I had a good night last night and want to baste in the glory "

"mentally telephone to drew"

"make a testicle of himself"

And Drew proves how perfect they really are together by some of the shenanigans he pulls. For example:

*pooping in the litter box and Jenny having to scoop it thinking the cat was ill. (Hootie died laughing at this)

*"He who farts in church sit in stinky pew"

*Classic tee shirts for Drew and baby like
         -Screw the titties and milk. Give me the beer.
         -Pooping in progress
         -I shit my pants when ugly people hold me
         -Camel’s Tow Service; ask us
           about our Moose Knuckle discounts.

You have the pleasure of reading about Drew and Jenny's first date, the birth of their second child and the girls attempt to uncover the reason for Jenny's recent stalker. That involves the use of mace and a taser and goes horribly/hysterically wrong.

That doesn't even begin to convey the hilarity of this book. Hootie and I would text one liners to each other as we read to point out the hystercial highlights. Here are a few you will have to watch for as you read:

         *vibrator race (of course Drew and Jenny get this all wrong)
         *imagine this x5:

                 *and even worse, this couldn't even be blamed on                  the dads:

                       "once you go black you never go back"

Through everything including bad advice from friends and family, therapy with a doctor that takes frequent rides on the crazy train, and just poor communication Drew and Jenny get it all figured out. Now with their wisdom can you imagine the lessons they could share with others ;)

And now Hootie's epic interview with Tara Sivec herself!


1) I loved the idea you had in S&S with the candy store adjoining the Adult toy store and I'm curious, With the success of Seduction and Snacks do you have any plans to open up and actual store like in the book?

  My niece and I totally have this dream!  She used to sell sex toys and we both love to bake.  We talk about it all the time!  Maybe someday!

2) Jenny seems to be everyone's favorite character, I know I love her but who is your favorite character from the books?

 I always have to say Claire just because she is so much like me.  Which of course means that I love myself.  And I do, I really do.

3) I can't remember laughing harder at a book as I did with S&S then Futures and Frosting came along, now halfway through Troubles and Treats I can't stop laughing at Jenny, What are some of your favorite Jenny-isms from the books? 

 My favorite was a conversation that Drew had with Carter in Seduction and Snacks.  He mentions how Jenny was learning to bake and using “confederate” sugar.  That was a conversation that actually happened at work with my co-worker.  We made jokes for days about how the British were coming and she needed to cook something in her confederate oven to keep them away. 

4) Being a fat wompus cow that I am I absolutely loved the candy and cookie recipes you came up with in S&S, are those recipes you found online or are did you come up with them yourself? 

 A little of both.  The Cranberry Hootycreeks (hooterpeeps) and the Butter Brickle bars are recipes I’ve had for years that I make for Christmas.  The Globs (white chocolate covered potato chips and pretzels drizzled with caramel) is all mine.  I’m sure there’s a store out there that makes them somewhere, but a few Christmases ago we were at my dad’s house covering everything in his pantry in chocolate and I made those.  They were inhaled within minutes. 

#4 Follow up) Would you consider putting out a S&S themed cookbook?  

I actually thought about adding recipes at the end of Futures and Frosting but I never had time to do it.  I’m planning on adding a “Recipe” page to my website so you can check there soon J

5) One of my favorite moments is from Futures and Frosting when jenny stuck Ben Wa balls in her snatch in the middle of the store, where the actual fuck did the inspiration for that scene come from? I'm already afraid of those stores for that reason, please tell me that didn't ACTUALLY happen to someone you know?

  Ha ha ha!  No, that never actually happened thank God or you would have seen news story of me puking in the middle of a sex shop.  My brain is a scary place to live, that’s all I can say about this.  I was writing the chapter and the idea just sort of evolved.  I actually stood in the middle of my living room trying to mimic the movements Jenny would use to un-lodge them so I could write the motion accurately.  I hope no one was looking in my windows at that point.

6) Do you plan to stick to the funny romance genre or will you tackle something like a serious drama or something paranormal? 

 I need a break from funny right now.  It’s exhausting!  I have a new romantic suspense series that I’m hard at work editing right now.  The first book in the series is called A Beautiful Lie and it will be out on January 3^rd.  I have also started a one-off that will tentatively be called “Watch Over Me” and that will have some paranormal twists in it.  I’m excited and flat out fucking nervous for these books!  I want people to see that I can actually write and not just do stand up comedy!

7) If you could REWRITE any book out there and put YOUR OWN spin on it, which book would it be and what would you change/remove?  

The Twilight Series.  I would make it X rated and let Bella and Edward have dirty, hot, balls to the wall sex.

8) The next question is for "Claire/Carter" What is the craziest thing Gavin has done to his little sister? 

 She has a My Size Barbie that she’s a little bit afraid of for some reason.  He popped off one of the arms (on accident I’m told) and replaced it with a duct-taped screw driver.  While she was sleeping, he stood it up next to her bed so Barbie was watching her sleep with her creepy screw driver arm.  It wasn’t a good morning.

9) Tara, if you could switch places with any of your characters (Written or in development) who would you chose to swap places with? 

 I would switch places with Parker, who is the heroine in my romantic suspense A Beautiful Lie.  Not to give too much away, but she kicks ass and she gets to be around a hot Navy SEAL named Garrett.  That’s all I’m sayin’!

10) Last question to Tara Did you ever imagine you would be where you are right now and what advice can you give other aspiring authors who might be scared to venture out? 

 Never in a million years!  If you would have told me a year ago I would have quit my brokerage job of 14 years and been a full-time writer, I would have laughed in your face.  I am amazed every single day that this is my life and I have no one to thank but the fans.  I have the best fans in the entire fucking world!  My advice for other aspiring authors is to not be afraid of your dreams.  With the self-publishing world blowing up all over the place, it doesn’t just have to be a dream anymore.  Anyone can make it happen.

We hope you have enjoyed this post as much as we enjoyed these books and their hilarious cast of characters. It's bittersweet to be saying Goodbye but we look forward to amazing things from Tara! If you don't know much about the awesomeness that is Tara Sivec, I suggest you check out the links below and go grab the books!

Author Bio:


Tara Sivec is a best selling author, wife, mom, chauffeur, cheerleading coach, soccer coach, babysitter, short-order cook, genius and albino squirrel hunter. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two kids. In her spare time she likes to read, write and cover things in chocolate. Most of her material comes from real life experiences with family and friends. Lucky for them, the names have been changed to protect the innocent (aka, drunk).




Connect with Tara

Website: http://www.tarasivec.com


Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TaraSivec.authorpage


Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6422281.Tara_Sivec

Twitter:  http://www.twitter.com/TaraSivec

(Very special thanks to the ladies of Talk Supe for hosting this tour and also HUGE thanks to Tara Sivec for being amazing!)

Troubles and Treats Promo Blitz and GIVEAWAY

Release Date: November 30, 2012

Synopsis

Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives - well, not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little.

With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time, Drew and Jenny aren't on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep.

Carter and Claire, and Jim and Liz are their usual (un)helpful selves and are full of advice for the disconnected duo, wanting nothing more than to help restore order to the usually happy couple's lives.

In the third and final installment of the Chocolate Lovers Series, will Drew and Jenny find the spark that's been missing in their marriage, or will the trouble they're having cause a stickier situation than the time Jenny poured honey all over Drew and he fused himself to a tree?


Troubles and Treats excerpt:
Drew, Carter and Jim are all at our house with the seven kids and we’re at Liz and
Jim’s house.  I can’t help it if I’m nervous.  It’s the first time they’ve all been alone with
the kids without us there to stop the screaming and the crying.  We’re the only ones who
can calm the men down when they see how much poop comes out of that many kids at
one time.

“What if one of them gets hurt?”

Claire rolls her eyes at me.  “Don’t worry, Gavin knows how to call 9-1-1 if the
idiots we married hurt themselves.

“I’m talking about the kids.  What if one of them get hurt?”

“I know you’re talking about one of the kids.  I’m trying to make you lighten up. 
So lighten the fuck up!”

Author Bio:

Tara Sivec is a best selling author, wife, mom, chauffeur, cheerleading coach, soccer coach, babysitter, short-order cook, genius and albino squirrel hunter. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two kids. In her spare time she likes to read, write and cover things in chocolate. Most of her material comes from real life experiences with family and friends. Lucky for them, the names have been changed to protect the innocent (aka, drunk).

Connect with Tara

Website http://www.tarasivec.com

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/TaraSivec.authorpage

Goodreads http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6422281.Tara_Sivec

Twitter  http://www.twitter.com/TaraSivec

 Giveaway--

A random commenter chosen from the entire promo blitz tour will receive a totally awesome swag bag from Tara Sivec.

 

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