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Available everywhere August 30th, 2015
Epilogue
October 25th, 2007
(Unedited, copy written @ MJ Fields)
I look in the mirror one last time, my hair is longer on top that it is on the sides.
The gel I use to style it makes it look messy and black instead of dark brown.
With my black boots I stand six foot three. I having spent an hour at the gym
every night after school, I finally have great definition. I’m stage ready.
I walk out on stage with my guitar strung around my neck, pick in hand, waiting
for the nerves to consume me. But they don’t.
Why? Because I’m a damn legend, that’s why. The stadium is sold out and the
crowd is going wild.
“Hello New Jersey!” I hold the mic out for the crowd’s roar. They give me exactly
what I want.
“I am Memphis Black, lead singer and guitarist extraordinaire for”—fuck I hate
this part. The band, what the hell is the band’s name?
“Black Hawks,” my sister Madison whispers.
“The Black Hawks!” I yell to the ‘crowd.’
“That name is so lame.” I hear my sister’s friend Tally giggle.
“You two, out.”
“No, you said if we video taped this, you would…”
“Out!”
“Come on, it’s our first dance, we need to learn how!” Madison stomps her foot.
“Well, you didn’t hold up your end of the deal, now did you?” I lift the guitar strap
over my head.
“Come on, please,” Madison says, eyes huge.
“Yeah please,” Tally joins her.
I consider telling them to fuck off, but they’d tell Mom. I consider a simple ‘no,’
but they’d tell her that, too. So I choose the safest answer: “Fine. But you both
have to shut the hell up.”
Tally covers her mouth, looking horrified. Girl is a train wreck in epic, adolescent
proportion. She has kinky brown curls and a ribbon always wrapped around her
head. Freckles bridge her nose and dot her face, and she always wears cartoon
character tee shirts, today it’s Care Bears.
“What now, Tales?” I huff.
“You said—”
“Hell?” I laugh.
“Yeah, you did.” She giggles again.
“You know what? I think the both of you should just stay home. All freshman girls
do at a dance is stand in a corner, giggle, and look like dweebs.” I look at my
sister. “Mads, a boy asks you to dance? You’ll start laughing and snorting.” Next, I
point at her friend. “Tales, you’ll get some big ass grin.” I roll my eyes when she
covers her mouth again—little girl can’t handle a curse word to save her life. “Just
keep smiling and laughing, and they’ll think there’s something wrong up in those
crazy heads of yours. Besides, you’re both in that—I don’t know, awkward stage:
braces, boobs just budding....”
Tally covers her mouth again while Madison starts to get really pissed off.
“I mean, look at that hair. Mads, you’re so used to wearing a ball cap you have
permanent hat head. And you,” I can’t resist taking one more shot at Tally. “How
the hell are you gonna get a comb through that kinky mess before Saturday?”
That’s when Madison finally screams for Mom. Tally just looks at me like that cat
from the cartoon, the one with the big green guy. Shrek? Yeah Shrek. Puss , Puss
in Boots. That’s what her face looks like.
Looking back at her, I almost feel kind of bad for giving them a hard time.
Mom comes in then and gives me the third degree, She tells me, ‘Girls are
sensitive when they’re going through changes,' and that I should ‘be more
thoughtful.’
Finally, I can’t take it anymore. “Okay Mom, fine. I will buy into their little girl
fantasies about that girl, with the blue dress, the one with the mice that turn into
horses—”
“Cinderella.” In spite of herself, my Mom laughs.
“Yeah. Her.”
Her face goes from amused to suspicious. Mom face. “What exactly are they
doing in your room, anyway?”
“They were supposed to be taping my performance.” I try not to smile as she gives
me that look. I know exactly what she’s about to say—that my rock star fantasies
are just as lame as some dumb fairy tale with talking mice. “It’s not the same
thing, Mom. This is my dream, something I can actually make into a career one
day.”
“I know, Memphis.” She pats my back, smiling. “But maybe their dream is to
dance.”
The gel I use to style it makes it look messy and black instead of dark brown.
With my black boots I stand six foot three. I having spent an hour at the gym
every night after school, I finally have great definition. I’m stage ready.
I walk out on stage with my guitar strung around my neck, pick in hand, waiting
for the nerves to consume me. But they don’t.
Why? Because I’m a damn legend, that’s why. The stadium is sold out and the
crowd is going wild.
“Hello New Jersey!” I hold the mic out for the crowd’s roar. They give me exactly
what I want.
“I am Memphis Black, lead singer and guitarist extraordinaire for”—fuck I hate
this part. The band, what the hell is the band’s name?
“Black Hawks,” my sister Madison whispers.
“The Black Hawks!” I yell to the ‘crowd.’
“That name is so lame.” I hear my sister’s friend Tally giggle.
“You two, out.”
“No, you said if we video taped this, you would…”
“Out!”
“Come on, it’s our first dance, we need to learn how!” Madison stomps her foot.
“Well, you didn’t hold up your end of the deal, now did you?” I lift the guitar strap
over my head.
“Come on, please,” Madison says, eyes huge.
“Yeah please,” Tally joins her.
I consider telling them to fuck off, but they’d tell Mom. I consider a simple ‘no,’
but they’d tell her that, too. So I choose the safest answer: “Fine. But you both
have to shut the hell up.”
Tally covers her mouth, looking horrified. Girl is a train wreck in epic, adolescent
proportion. She has kinky brown curls and a ribbon always wrapped around her
head. Freckles bridge her nose and dot her face, and she always wears cartoon
character tee shirts, today it’s Care Bears.
“What now, Tales?” I huff.
“You said—”
“Hell?” I laugh.
“Yeah, you did.” She giggles again.
“You know what? I think the both of you should just stay home. All freshman girls
do at a dance is stand in a corner, giggle, and look like dweebs.” I look at my
sister. “Mads, a boy asks you to dance? You’ll start laughing and snorting.” Next, I
point at her friend. “Tales, you’ll get some big ass grin.” I roll my eyes when she
covers her mouth again—little girl can’t handle a curse word to save her life. “Just
keep smiling and laughing, and they’ll think there’s something wrong up in those
crazy heads of yours. Besides, you’re both in that—I don’t know, awkward stage:
braces, boobs just budding....”
Tally covers her mouth again while Madison starts to get really pissed off.
“I mean, look at that hair. Mads, you’re so used to wearing a ball cap you have
permanent hat head. And you,” I can’t resist taking one more shot at Tally. “How
the hell are you gonna get a comb through that kinky mess before Saturday?”
That’s when Madison finally screams for Mom. Tally just looks at me like that cat
from the cartoon, the one with the big green guy. Shrek? Yeah Shrek. Puss , Puss
in Boots. That’s what her face looks like.
Looking back at her, I almost feel kind of bad for giving them a hard time.
Mom comes in then and gives me the third degree, She tells me, ‘Girls are
sensitive when they’re going through changes,' and that I should ‘be more
thoughtful.’
Finally, I can’t take it anymore. “Okay Mom, fine. I will buy into their little girl
fantasies about that girl, with the blue dress, the one with the mice that turn into
horses—”
“Cinderella.” In spite of herself, my Mom laughs.
“Yeah. Her.”
Her face goes from amused to suspicious. Mom face. “What exactly are they
doing in your room, anyway?”
“They were supposed to be taping my performance.” I try not to smile as she gives
me that look. I know exactly what she’s about to say—that my rock star fantasies
are just as lame as some dumb fairy tale with talking mice. “It’s not the same
thing, Mom. This is my dream, something I can actually make into a career one
day.”
“I know, Memphis.” She pats my back, smiling. “But maybe their dream is to
dance.”
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